karin dancy

Do you ever have a hard time loving some folks?

The other day, I had an interaction with someone who always, without fail rubs me the wrong way. Someone who smiles sweetly at me one moment, and throws digs and jabs my way the very next.

The Christian in me wants to love this Negative Nelly. To not let their words and behavior bother me in the least. But, the truth is I want to exit Stage Left whenever I run into them, because I know what’s coming.

This bothers me because I’m someone who generally gets along with folks. As one friend puts it, “If Karin doesn’t like you, there’s GOT to be something wrong with you.” One of my aunties even calls me Mother Teresa.

I’m not sure about all that, but I am intentional about putting others at ease, making them feel comfy and connected. A colleague calls me “Blankie” because, as she puts it, I make others feel like they’re wrapped in a warm, cozy blanket. And, I got it honestly. My mama and daddy were the Original Blankies, wrapping everyone they met in lots of genuine love.

Blankies aside, most of us generally operate from a place of kindness as we go about our daily lives. We know that we’re all connected, so what we put out in the world will come back to us. Release good stuff, goodness returns. Release not-so-good stuff . . . well, you know the rest.

I know: People are gonna “people.” And, yes, we can set healthy boundaries with others. We’re certainly not meant to be everyone’s friend, nor should we ever endure abusive behavior.

I’m talking here about going high when others go low. How not to sink to another’s level when their M.O. is dishing out words and behavior that leave hurt feelings, even resentment, in their wake. How to navigate unkindness with grace, not gritting teeth.

The kind of place I found myself after that recent run-in with Negative Nelly.

Until I heard God whisper gently, “Just love them anyway.”

Come on, Lord. Really?

“Yes, really.” Without missing a beat, He answered the question in my head.

“It’s so haaaaaard,” I whined aloud.

“I know,” He told my heart. “But, I’ll help you do it – if you let Me.”

“Okay,” I whispered, as my heart gave way and softened to Truth. I could feel my shoulders relax and my eyebrows take about four giant steps back up into their proper place.

Life reminds me that I must release hurt and resentment to forgive and love others, especially those who challenge us most . . . the gruff ones who insist on being contrary . . . the quick-to-judge folks who make us feel small . . . the Negative Nellies who make us feel worn out like wilted flowers.

Will I still struggle with this from time to time? Probably. After all, we humans can be a LOT. But, I know better, so I’ll aim to do better. And, when Negative Nelly comes my way, I may feel some growing pains . . . but, I’ll practice loving them anyway.

Your Turn:
How do you “love ’em anyway?”